Competition can be a good thing - we just had elections - that's a good thing.

If a competitive drive causes you to be more successful in your professional life - that's a good thing.

But having a competitive spirit when it comes down to comparing your "being" with others - that's a bad thing.  Let me explain.

Have you ever known a woman who couldn't give another woman a compliment?  As though in doing so, it would somehow diminish her?  Or how about a woman comparing her looks (favorably) to another, but the other woman is ten or more years younger than she is?

Now before you say that I'm picking on women; yes, I'm well aware that women don't have the monopoly on insecurity.  I know men that are almost pathologically insecure (they're another story.)  But because of the lopsided emphasis our society puts on women's looks vs. men's, this particular insecurity is usually much more evident with women.

And the pity is, there's really no need for it.  It's a loser's game, because the old saying is true:  There will always be someone else who is thinner, richer, more beautiful, etc.  A sixty year old cannot compete, in the looks department, with a forty year old.  Get over it.  And that's not to say that the sixty year old cannot be gorgeous, charming and charismatic.  There are plenty of women around, who are just that.

But the minute someone opens their mouth to start comparing - ugh.

It's true you know - confidence is the most attractive, sexy quality anyone can have.  And not some faux bravado, no, but a deep down comfort with yourself - knowing who you are, and liking who you are - that's what is such a turn on to everyone around.

Coco Chanel once said that a woman could be, "gorgeous at twenty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of her life."   So enough already with the competition.  Check out this photo of the ever gorgeous Catherine Deneuve.  I doubt she feels anything but complete ease with herself.








So what do you think about competitiveness among women?  Especially when it's about the superficial?

And are women getting much smarter about this?  Is the younger generation of women a lot more confident in their skin, than their elders are?

Let me know what you think.  I'd love to hear others' opinions on this.

And if you're wondering why I chose to write about this?  Well, you guessed it.  I had a little experience over the weekend with a faux grown-up who is obviously having a hard time dealing with the reality of her age. 

Brought to mind Jack Nicholson's famous line, "You can't handle the truth!"  Such a pity...