"I do declare" (read that with a southern accent a la Scarlette O'Hara) "I just have the most interesting conversations over weekend dinners!" 

And what was the interesting topic this weekend?  Cool - coolness.  What makes someone cool?  Who has it, who doesn't?  And why is it so many men (vs. women) think they're cool, and the women say dream on, dude.

Coolness (or not) is an integral part of personal style.  Some people have been defined by it: think  Dean Martin.  The man was cool, no doubt about it!  I heard Kevin Spacey say that when he was trying to get a grip on his very cool, sophisticated character in L.A. Confidential, Jack Vincennes, he thought of Dean Martin: ringading ding!

So what is it that makes a person cool?  Can it even be explained?

Just for fun, we started tossing out names and identified them as cool, or not.  And it quickly became apparent, that women had a tougher time getting on the cool list.

For instance: 

• Audrey Hepburn - stunning, chic, love her, but not cool.  Katherine Hepburn - cool.
• Grace Kelly - gorgeous, sophisticated, not cool.  Lauren Bacall - cool.
• Celine Dion - great voice, not cool.  Stevie Nicks - cool.

There's seems to be a certain sassiness and independence, a devil may care attitude that is part of the cool women's personae.

As for the men, we agreed on the devil may care attitude, plus self awareness, along with seemingly keen senses of humor about themselves.

• Brad Pitt - good looking, not cool.  George Clooney - cool.
• Roger Moore - dapper, good looking, not cool.  Sean Connery - cool.
• Hugh Grant - charming, not cool.  Daniel Craig - cool.
• Tom Cruise - talented, not cool.  Denzel Washington - cool.
• Gene Hackman, love him but not cool.  Dennis Hopper - cool.
• Warren Beatty - handsome and talented, not cool.  Jack Nicholson - cool.
• Gary Cooper - lovely, great talent, not cool.  Cary Grant - uber cool.
  

Now before you get your knickers in a twist and write, "How could you say so-and-so isn't cool?" or "How could you leave so-and-so off the list?"  this was our very subjective take on the coolness factor.  And the names on the list popped up in minutes - not hours.  So we didn't spend a lot of time in "thoughtful discussion" over the merits of one person's inclusion vs. others'.

But if you think cool means certain characteristics that we greviously left out, then let me know.  I'm curious as to what others think constitutes cool.